Roller Coaster of Emotions

I don't think it'd come as a surprise to anyone that the past 5 days have been a roller coaster. On Monday we experienced one of the happiest and scariest days of our lives. I remember when we took our first birthing class, they told us to write down I think it was 5 or 6 things that we "planned" on. Whether it was getting an epidural, not getting an epidural, having a c-section, not having a c-section...you get the idea. Well after we did that they told us to cross off 3 of those things because it never goes how we plan it. Little did Eric and I know how different our experience would be than what we had planned this time around.

Cael's been a stinker, for lack of a better word, from the very beginning. I've loved every minute about my pregnancy don't get me wrong, but from the morning sickness, back pain, shortness of breath and other things - it's been a trip. I should have known that his entry into the world would be similar.

But as I sit here at St. Mary's in the NICU, I can't help but feel blessed as the song "I'll be home for Christmas is playing overhead" I know that we'll be home for Christmas and it brings me to tears. I couldn't be more thankful for that.

I'll never know why God picked us to go through this, but I do know that he wouldn't give us anything we couldn't handle. We've got a healthy daughter at home, and soon we'll have a son to bring home as well. I met another mom while here, and she's been here for 20 weeks and remains strong. I can only imagine what she's going through and pray that she can bring her son home soon as well.

No matter how bad things get, they could always be worse.

I don't know how much longer we'll be here, but I know we'll be home soon. Thank you everyone for all of the prayers, calls, texts and other kind gifts you've given to us. I don't know how we'll ever be able to repay everyone for their help in getting us through this. I can't wait for the day when you all get to meet Cael.

On that note, wish us luck. I'll be spending the night in the hospital to feed Cael. Hoping it goes well. The sooner he and I get this breastfeeding thing figured out, the sooner we get to bring him home.

Love you all~

"God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way."