What A Day

At 6:10 this evening I found myself in tears, feeling discouraged, exhausted and emotionally drained. When we went to change Cael's diaper it was bone dry. (not a good sign - it means he's not getting enough milk). I was hopeful that our feeding following would make up for that and he'd be a starvin marvin. Not the case. Cael is a pretty tired little guy. So I cried, because I know if he doesn't have wet diapers and good feedings I know we'll be here another day. In the past few days we've tried every hold imagineable and nothing seemed to float his boat. So in a desperate attempt for a good feeding, we tried one more hold that I never wanted to do in fear of falling asleep. I laid down on my side in the bed and had Cael belly up to me, and wouldn't you know it - he loved it!!!! And just when I thought he was done - he came back for dessert!!! Of course the true test will be when we change his diaper in a few hours.

It's so awesome having him in the room with us without all of the monitors on. He still has his feeding tube in his nose, just in case. But if he drinks again like he just did a few minutes ago - I don't think we'll ever need that darn thing again!

Thank you all so much for your love and support through all of this. It's been really hard being here alone knbutowing that everyone is thinking and praying for Cael just warms my heart. We've got great family and friends.

Please continue to pray. We're not over this yet. Cael will get weighed around midnight tonight so I'm hoping to get two more good feedings in him so he has a weight gain!!

Song for this evening, "If You're Going Through Hell" by Rodney Atkins. The actual verses don't necessarily relate, but I love the message in the chorus.

Well I been deep down in that darkness
I been down to my last match
Felt a hundred different demons
Breathing fire down my back
And I knew that if I stumbled
I'd fall right into the trap that they were laying, yeah

But the good news
Is there's angels everywhere out on the street
Holding out a hand to pull you back up on your feet
The one's that you've been dragging for so long
You're on your knees
You might as well be praying
Guess what I'm saying

If your going through hell
Keep on going, don't slow down
If you're scared don't show it
You might get out
Before the devil even knows you're there