Dazed & Confused

You know - the whole point of a game plan - is to follow it right? Apparently Cael's nurse was unaware the reason one comes up with a game plan. She gave him tubes all through the night because she thought I needed some rest. Ok, pardon my french here, but no shit sherlock. My son is in the NICU, do you really think I can sleep at night?? Or at all??

Then the resident this morning said let's do tubes after every feeding to get him hydrated. Ok, obviously dealing with preemies isn't my profession so I obviously don't know what's best for them, however, after spending almost two weeks in here, you kind of pick up what's going on. And to me, you do the tube immediately after the feeding for those just starting out. So my questions are these: 1 - why didn't we do that right away and 2 - what do you mean hydrate him? Every single darn diaper he has is wet. Poor resident. I feel bad for her as she's been nothing but sweet, but I had to question her decision. Luckily, we've got a stellar nurse today and she thinks that's silly so said that we wouldn't do that.

I've also been asking for the past few days if I can feed Cael by bottle because my mastitis has affected my milk flow and he's having to work harder for it. (As if he's not already working his butt off, we have to add my silly complication into the mix and make it harder for him). Everyone keeps saying that bottle and breast are pretty similar. Umm...pretty sure they're not but ok. So again I go to our second favorite nurse and say, "can I at least try one bottle please - if he doesn't like it I'll do whatever you tell me to, but I feel like he's not nursing as well since I've had this" Keeping in mind I'm in tears at this point because they want to just tube my little man all the time and I know that that means we're moving in the opposite direction. Bless her heart she said, "we can do whatever you want" So we warmed up 60 cc's of milk (Cael's goal for 3 hours is 55 cc's). Well wouldn't you know it he downed the 60 and then drank 20 more. So here's to all of the nurses and residents that wouldn't listen to me - "Mama knows what's best, don't disregard what I have to say because my degree isn't in neonatal care"

Obviously the most important thing here is that Cael just had a rockstar feeding. Hopefully he's able to keep it all down and continue to feed so well this afternoon. Carissa (Cael's nurse of the day) said we can keep doing bottles all day and night if I want. And honestly - if he's going to drink that well from the bottle - you're darn right I'm going to keep giving him bottles!! Shoot I have to pump after every single feeding anyway so there's no difference to me.

On another note, I might get kicked out of the room tonight. There are a few babies that are close to going home so someone else might need the room. Quite honestly, I'm surprised I didn't get kicked out sooner. I'm excited for the other parents that their babies are close, but sad to be losing my bathroom. I'll still get a room, but it's not one that I can bring Cael into. It's basically a room with two chairs that fold into a bed and has a tv in it. Right now I have a queen sized bed, a mini fridge, a bathroom with a toilet, shower and sink and a nice little closet for all of my crap. Rest assured though, my nurse said that if Cael continues to do well for the next 24 hours, there's a chance we might still get out of this popsicle stand tomorrow even though he won't be in a room with me! So please cross your fingers and pray like hell that the bottles were all that he needed!!

Ok, I'll keep you all posted if there are any changes! In the meantime I need to get my stuff organized in case I really do get kicked out of my little luxury suite today.

Love to all~

P.s. I'm sorry for my slightly angry post in the beginning, I was just a little frustrated...